Don’t be boring…

Boring

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

Ambrose Bierce – Editor, Journalist, Writer

A few years ago, I watched a self-help video on how to “network’ a room and become an “influencer.” By following a few simple steps, I could be someone others would consider worthy of befriending.  There were 10 tips, all of which I have forgotten, except for the first one.   If you want people to listen to your ideas, don’t be boring. Our greatest fear appears to be that of looking dull and tiresome.  We go to great lengths to be interesting and attract attention, whether through our appearance and dress, our professional titles, or through witty dialogue.   In effect, we strive to be entertainers. Yet, there is an elegantly simple truism.

The listener is generally the most popular person in any crowd.

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”

 Wilson Mizner – Playwright, Raconteur, and Entrepreneur.

33 Comments

  1. How very true and sound advice

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    1. Clanmother says:

      You are a master listener…that is why your stories are so refreshing….

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      1. Do you know that is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!

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      2. Clanmother says:

        You will see how right I am as you continue your journey….

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  2. Gallivanta says:

    I am guessing there wasn’t much in the self help video about being a good listener! An ‘influencer’; why does that make me giggle and think of snake charmers?

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    1. Clanmother says:

      If I remember correctly, it was rather entertaining so it delivered on the first tip – don’t be boring. I really can’t recall the other 9 tips. It might have been that my listening skills were not in “peak condition.”

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      1. ks3nia says:

        Hehe! It’s hard sometimes though, to shut up, especially if you are with quiet/shy people you don’t know well… But this was a nice reminder, I very much wish to become a better listener 🙂 in “peak condition” always 😀

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      2. Clanmother says:

        🙂 🙂 🙂 I always think that I have to fill in those long pauses. Even I think I am starting to babble.

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  3. billgncs says:

    If only I knew how to not be boring. Doesn’t everyone want to discuss LOTR ? 🙂

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Oh, you know that LOTR is my most favourite subject. In fact, I am listening to the music from The Hobbit as I respond to your comment.

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      1. billgncs says:

        then you are anything but boring 🙂 — goodnight!

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      2. Clanmother says:

        Thank you!!! By the way, just a thought for today –

        “Never laugh at live dragons.”
        ― J.R.R. Tolkien

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  4. arjun bagga says:

    Witty post. There’s something for everyone.

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Thank you, Arjun, for your encouraging comments.

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  5. danaiana says:

    As always, your post was a pleasure to read !

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    1. Clanmother says:

      And it is a pleasure to have your company! Have a wonderful day…

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  6. Affirmation of what I have always strive to be 🙂
    Always love your posts.
    Regards,

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Thank you so much for your presence and comments! The word – affirmation! You have just given me another thought….

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  7. friendlytm says:

    Hi Rebecca;: Thank you for your “listening” series.

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    1. Clanmother says:

      And thank you for joining the dialogue. I look forward to your thoughts and ideas.

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  8. Thank you so much for this post, Rebecca. It sounds like a kind of review to me how to be a good listener and how to be a good presenter :-). I often found myself stuck on one of these predicates.

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    1. Clanmother says:

      You have centered on the heart of the dilemma – the delicate balance between listening and speaking. It goes to timing and context! To make the greatest impact and to give the best of who we are, we need to know when to speak and when to listen. And that is something that I am learning as we go along. And now with social media technology, there are added complex variables. The good news is that we are learning together.

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  9. I think it is correct that we have to know when to speak and when to listen is an important key point. I hardly believe that sometimes I may not be a good listener to what I am not interested. I must attain some tips from the learning. Any one? 🙂

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  10. I would love to see you work a room. Just how many people can you meet in 10 minutes and still have a meaningful interaction? I keep my hubby guessing what I’m up to all the time. 🙂

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Oh Emily, a very good question!!! “How many” is the antithesis of “meaningful.” I remember being in a session where we all had to give a 30 second elevator speech as an introduction. Now 30 seconds is too long for attention spans that are used to texting. We live in a fast world, but the desire for meaningful discussions has not diminished. In fact, I think that it is escalating. Interesting times….

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  11. indiferent says:

    It’s a real pleasure to read here and to listen my thoughts in my silence kitchen. It’s a boring way to start my day ! 🙂

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    1. Clanmother says:

      What a great way to start! And since it is 11:15 p.m. in Vancouver, I am guessing that you are just starting your day!!! I know that it will be exciting…

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  12. indiferent says:

    By the way : I wish you a beautiful spring !
    🙂

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Thank you!!! Vancouver has a rainfall alert! It has been raining heavily non stop all day. We may see sunshine on Sunday! Your visits always bring sunshine to my day even if it is raining.

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  13. Ms Frances says:

    Oh, to know when to speak and when to keep quiet! That is the rub. When we learn that and choose words wisely, I am sure we will not be boring.

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    1. Clanmother says:

      That is indeed the rub! You, of all people, know how much I like to talk!!!

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Comments are closed.